Random Gal

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Nanny
2. Deli Lady
3. Newspaper Delivery
4. Accounting Assistant
Four movies you would watch over and over:
1. 28 Days
2. Dead Poets Society
3. 7 Brides for 7 Brothers
4. ET

Four places you have lived:
1. Massachusetts
2. Utah
3. Virgina
4. Maryland

Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. Desperate Housewives
2. Scrubs
3. The Office
4. King of Queens

Four places you have been on vacation:
1. Disney World
2. California
3. Las Vegas
4. New York City

Four favorite foods:
1. Triple Chocolate Drumstick
2. Fruit rignt now it is strawberries
3. Panini
4. Tyler's Mexician food

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. by the beach
2. on the porch of my new home, drinking lemonade
3. done with being pregnant
4. did i say by the beach?

So I really really spoiled my little girl for her bday. Seriously, I am feeling guilty and I'm not even done. This will be the only time that it is near this bad, hey she is going to be the only child for only 1 time in her life and I went all out.

We went to Build a Bear, shopping for her new clothes in Park City, Presents, Cupcakes, TONS OF BALLOONS, a dog banner. Then we are going to the zoo, to dinner and having ANOTHER party with another cake and more presents on Sunday.

You know what I really loved though, she is a little girl now not a baby. And I really have been thinking latley, I still cannot believe how much I love her. I never knew I could love something this much and it grows and grows every month. I feel lucky every day to be her mom, and I miss her if I am every away, every morning when I wake up I am running to go get her out of bed because I am so excited to see her. I just cannot believe how much I love having her. Being a mom is the best, it really is.

I am nervous about having another one with them being so close. But I am so excited to get to have another baby that I will love just as much. I think after I give birth it will be a lot different than with Abby. I bonded with her after a couple of days, not at first. At first I was still scared out of my mind and hurting, so I let Tyler totally take over, then later on in the day I felt the love. I am looking forward to feeling that love right when she comes out. Man, I love all of my babies that I've never met so much already. I love all the babies that I hopefully get to adopt someday too. And I love all of my nieces and nephews that haven't come yet and the ones that are here.

I wuv you Abby baby girl.

By the way as of now I have a house to move into and my house is under contract WOO HOO!!

Just so you know we do have some offers on my house so this is an EXCITED list.

1. I will not trip over the dogs all day long

2. All of Tyler's business papers will be downstairs in an office not EVERYWHERE

3. I will not have to silence everybody in the house every time the business line rings

4. Abby will not wake up from Tyler's loud voice while on business calls

5. I can have people over!

6. I can have people over who hate dogs and it won't bother them because I will put them away

7. I will have a bedroom for my new baby

8. We will be buying a king sized bed and HAVE ROOM FOR IT!

9. I will not have to listen to Tyler go to the bathroom because that is not a turn on, for HOURS after

10. I will be able to let Abby cry herself back to sleep when she wakes to early and it won't make the neighbors mad

11. I will not have people walking by my front window and peeking in all day long.

12. The dogs will not get worried from all the people walking by

13. I will not have to be HOA President anymore so I will not have to deal with stupid rentors, picking up other dogs poop and other people's litter

14. Abby will have room to RUN and ride her bike and HAVE FUN!

15. I will not feel like I need to always be out of the house

16. I can get some new furniture!

17. I can have more than one bathroom!

18. I will have a backyard!!!

19. I will have a front yard!!
20. I will have a garage!!

21. I will feel like a real grownup!

22. I can plant flowers, I really want to plant my herbs and flowers!

23. I can have a garden, I love gardens.

24. I can have STORAGE SPACE!

25. My place won't feel cluttered, because I really don't have much stuff at all!

26. Every closet won't be packed full

27. Abby and Tyler won't have to share a closet

28. I will have room for food storage, I really need to start on that.

29. I will have a pantry!!

30. I AM SO EXCITED!! I DON'T CARE IF ITS OLD AND A FIXER UPPER I AM SO HAPPY!!!

So what if...

I STILL have 10 pounds to loose and I'm already pregnant again

So what if...

I cannot for the life of me figure out how to do my eyebrows

So what if...

I waste to much time on myspace

So what if...

The bottom of my feet always look like I have been walking outside, I think they are stained that way

So what if...

I get nervous meeting new people

So what if...

People don't like my dogs

So what if...

I still have not figured out how to do hair or makeup

So what if....

My friends think its silly that I'm mormon or a mom so young

So what if...

Lots of days I just feel like being a loner

So what if....

I eat leftover desserts for breakfast

So what if...

my car is NEVER clean

So what if...

I always say stupid things

So what if...

I am a few inches taller than I'd like

So what if...

Abby is way to attached to me



SO WHAT !!

I am Essa

i love i give i feel i hate i walk i shop i laugh i cry i play i smile i complain i eat i cook i clean i scrapbook i work out i cuddle i yell i annoy i hope i help i encourage i console i read

i am weird i am confused i am scared i am nice i am mean i am caring i am bratty i am random i am sarcastic i am mormon i am non trusting i am helping i am childish i am me

i love abby i love family i love kids i love new clothes i love church i love being lazy i love reading i love dreaming i love happiness i love writing i love being a mom

i want money i want health i want happiness i want friendship i want realness i want spontaneous i want joy i want freedom i want ben and jerrys half bakes i want school i want someone to be proud of me

i hate backstabbers i hate judgemental people i hate pain i hate heartbreak i hate tiredness i hate disrepect i hate death i hate inequality i hate deception i hate grown up life i hate budgets i hate seeing others hurt

I can't scratch ever be comfortable with the temperature I can't see someone cry without crying myself I can't see Abby without smiling I can't imagine my life without Tyler I can't drive without daydreaming

You are someone I don't trust You are never within reach You are my life You are my reason for living You are my role model You are my other half You are my laughs You are my smile You are me.